Nightmare

Last night I dreamed that I was about to be raped. It was daylight, mid morning, I had taken a shower and had a towel around me. I was in my bathroom, walking towards my bedroom, when a man appeared in the doorway. He was young, about mid-twenties, clean cut, with a baseball cap. When I looked at his face, I just knew he was going to attack me. I said, "You don't want to do this." He smiled. I woke up.

That was about 4:00 a.m. I locked my bedroom door. I knew that wouldn't keep him out, but, at least, it would buy me some time.

Over the next hour or so, I started to rewrite my dream, the next part of it. I've been boxing at the gym. I imagined getting into my pose and hitting him with two quick left jabs and then snapping a solid right to his nose, throwing my body into the punch. I saw surprise and pain. But my bathroom is long and narrow and it was hard to get past him. I imagined all the ways I could hurt him, at least for a few moments, so that I could run past him and escape. He didn't appear to be very strong or fit but I knew he could easily over power me. All those miles of running, all the yoga, all the bicycle riding and I could not save myself from one sick bastard.

I'm not sure when I fell asleep. I woke up at 7:00 a.m.

Tonight I have been thinking about dream analysis. My understanding is that the person in the dream represents something or someone else. There is someone or something out there who takes away my power. Who I classify as an attacker and don't know how to protect myself. I think I know who this person is. He is not very scary and would never be physically aggressive but his demeaning sense of humor makes me feel attacked and powerless. And he appears common and harmless, just like the man in my dream. He would be shocked if I told him that he was the subject of my dream. But, my psyche is reminding me to be cautious and protect myself with two left jabs and one good right. And, remember, the space is long and narrow and it will be difficult to run past the bastard.

P.S. He is not my boss!